How To Ruin Your Social Reputation on LinkedIn Before it Starts
Mar 16th, 2009 | By Optimal Webworks | Category: Web 2.0 Business MarketingOur mothers always told us, “Always try to make a good first impression … it may be your last.”
Sound advice, right?
So why do so many of us ignore mommy-dearest when connecting with people online?
Don’t fall victim to canned connection requests!
You know the score. You see someone you want to connect with, so you send them an invite. The social network writes a greeting for you … something like, “You’re a person I trust. Let’s connect!” You hit send and you’re on your way to social networking stardom.
Wrong. This is one of the biggest mistakes for new and seasoned social networkers. Here’s why:
6 REASONS WHY CANNED GREETINGS DON’T WORK FOR SOCIAL NETWORKING
- You Don’t Care About Me: You really couldn’t take the time to write something personal to me? Why do you want to connect then?
- You Don’t Care About Yourself: If you can’t think of something useful to say in a connection request, what does that say about your own work ethic. Too busy … or lazy … to write a few sentences?
- I Don’t Have Time To Read Your Profile: Who are you again? And why should I spend 10 minutes trying to figure out how we might have some type of connection?
- I’m Annoyed: Seriously, I get these kind of requests all the time from people I don’t really know. And you just piled another one on the fire.
- I Won’t Write You Back: How am I supposed to help you or remember who you are if we met before without some prompting? Writing you and asking “Have we met?” is just a little too awkward for many of us. So your request gets ignored.
- Your One Step Closer to Never Connecting With Me Again: If someone chooses “I don’t know this person,” when confronted with a LinkedIn connection request, the requester will never be able to ask for a connection again. Sound harsh? Maybe you should have considered writing a better greeting in the first place.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT POOR GREETINGS?
This isn’t rocket science. Make a good first impression.
Tell people why you’re connecting with them. Give them some personal details. Make others want to connect with you or at least give them a reason for why they should.
We’ve written up a quick guide for you to help: 6 STEPS TO NEVER GETTING TURNED DOWN AGAIN … FOR FRIEND REQUESTS. Sign up for our newsletter to get the tips.
Have you had experience with canned connection requests? Vent here in the comments.
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Great post.
Note that if you use the Outlook LinkedIn toolbar, it allows you to create a different “default” invitation, so you can at least remove the part about “person I trust”.
I usually say
‘If you want to connect so I am a part of your LinkedIn “Business Card Rolodex”, please accept this
invitation”
so they know I use LinkedIn to replace business cards, and it doesn’t mean I am their new best friend.
Keep up the good posts,
Pat
LinkedIn Speaker Blog
Thanks for the comment Patrick. Really great tips
This is a terrific article, and funny, I started practicing these tips organically. It is great advice! I try to add some sort of context as to why I’m contacting them and how I know them. I also try to thank and connect with those that I “converse” with on LinkedIn.
Maybe people can spam user requests on Myspace, Facebook or Twitter with greater success but LinkedIn is a more professional community and those tactics just don’t work there.
Dear Patrick,
What your saying is so true and terrific. Its a great tip to be cautious and alert in using this wonderful site. Thanks for this insight. Its valuable. Am sure all the new linkedins of this site will find this message very useful.
It’s better to be more like Felix Unger than Oscar Madison when it comes to LinkedIn invitations. Never assume. Thank you for this thoughtful post.
Great post Richard. Yes, I receive those canned requests from people I don’t know – and – even from people I do know, which I find almost more disrespectful. So, I take it even one step further – I always personalize the message and don’t use the canned script…even with people I know or have met in the past. Why? Because my intention is to connect/re-connect with that person. The point is there’s a person at the other end of the email, which I think we forget too often in e-communications. So it’s true what your mother said! And just as true when re-connecting as forward connecting.
Happy connecting!
Thanks for the helping me smile and understand some blunders I fear I may have made.
Count me as “wised up”.
Who cares? If it’s from Aunt Terry, it’s from Aunt Terry. BAM! I’m gonna accept.
Junior just hit the nail on the head…and a certain type of business person will still click on “Don’t Know This Person” even if that requester spent 15 minutes crafting a very good letter. This then damages the sender’s rep with LinkedIn. This latter is much more serious misbehavior because they could have clicked on Ignore but chose to alert the spam cops to hurt the person who had valued a connection.
I still haven’t figured out how to connect with those I really am involved in business negotiations with. The whole system hasn’t worked itself out yet because it is somehow easier to connect with those we are not actively involved with.
By the way, this is Aunt Terry. I want everyone to accept with a BAM when I connect. :-)
Good advice for life, not just formal “social networking”.
Sound advice! I am a happy long time user of LinkedIN, and I believe the LinkedIN Engineering and Marketing team want to take a way the stupid standard sentence themselves as they understand that it will work against the success of LinkedIN as a tool. I hope these guys are reading this thread ;-)
For me LinkedIN is still the number 1 Social Networking Tool !
I think the conversation is silly. If I know you and want to connect with you, I will click “accept” no matter if you send me a nice personal note or a canned “I want to add you to my network”. If I don’t know you, it doesn’t matter, I am not connecting with you no matter what nicey nice stuff you wrote, just in case you are an ax murderer. Sorry, but I don’t agree that it’s a sin to use the canned language nor do I think your chances increase if you personalize the message when you are a stranger.
You make a good point, but if you are following Linkedin protocol you are only sending connection requests to folks you already know.
What I don’t understand are the folks whom I have never met that send a request, and don’t respond when I contact them prior to accepting. Let me explain, I will always reach out if I don’t know you with either an email or phone call, if you don’t call or write back, we aren’t going to connect. I think the value is in the follow up, not the connection request. BTW nothing awkward about saying “I don’t know you”, I do it all the time, it’s a great conversation starter.
I agree that LinkedIn is a more professoinal environment, and that impressions are important, but when you are getting started, and feed LinkedIn 2000 contacts from Outlook, personalizing is a pretty big undertaking. Fortunately all my contacts were more forgiving than the author.
Perhaps more importantly, I accept all invites because so many people see me through their friends, and want to take advantage of my offer: “I save $200-$800 on new, customized Dell computers for my friends,. and their friends and their friends…”.
Since I use LinkedIn to establish new business contacts, I am more forgiving.
Mike@YourPCpitstop.com
I liked what you said and I appreciate your advice.
Thank you,
steve@amarketingguy.com
just seems like common sense to me. i always customize connection invites, detailing how i know the person or how we’re linked to another person. still, i am amazed by the number of people who turn down invitations saying “doesn’t know,” despite the fact that i detailed how i met them at a specific trade show or work for the same company out of an office in a different city than the one they work out of. and i get invitation restrictions put on my account because of those “doesn’t know” people who actually do or should know me. snobs!
Hi and thanks a lot for these very good tips, full of truth. As fresh graduate and new LinkedIn user, I’ve found out that I used to make unconciously. In the future, I will try to pay more attention while hoping my networking activity will improve.
Rgds,
Excelent article!
Excellent article!
Not only is it good to be reminded of the basics when communicating, you’ve also sparked a lively debate!
Great topic! I’m pleased to say the majority of invitations I receive do include a personal note. I appreciate the time taken to at least know a little about the who and why. And those that don’t … well, you expressed it very well! I also do the same. You’re so right about first impressions…a poor one may be a lost opportunity to create a future positive working relationship.
What a great article! I, like many others, just did not think of this being a new LinkedIn user. Every bit of information provides for another growth experience. Thank you for the information which will be put to very good use in the future!
When should one not accept an invitation?
I always question the motivation of a request before accepting because people can be mining connections or relationships in ways I would not appreciate. If I am connected to someone who might have a bad reputation, or maybe have a good one then goes sour, then I can be see as “valuing that person” because we are connected. Likewise, that connection can also be positive.
I’ve had a linked-in profile for a year with only casual use. I’m now in a full-time job search and trying to figure out how to wisely leverage linked-in as well as when it’s not worth the effort.
Thank you for your original article.
An excellent post with some “spot on” advice for all.
I receive many of these invitations from contacts of contacts and never know how to respond, as I don’t wish to upset the mutual contact by being “rude” to their associates.
Now that I know how to amend the greeting, I’ll use it from now on.
I get your whole take on the ruin your reputation, so, why is LinkedIn so accepting? Guess the proofs in what you can deliver, right?
Great post!
I keep receiving such impersonal and “I couldn’t care less” type of invitations for contact.
Curious to know why or how people send “I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”
and expect that we oblige them?
Maj. Bhargava
wised up, thanks…
Great post. Keep it personal, that’s what’s it all about! Making contact thrue LinkedIN is just like making contact in ‘real’ life. And when you are sending an invitation always think how you would react is you would receive this invitation. What would be your first reaction? Would you feel honoured? Ore annoyed? Threat (potential) connections on LinkedIN just like the way you want to be threated. Is all that logical! We’re all human ;-)
Great posting on this topic. I only send invites to those people I worked with and remember me or that I remember. Then there are friends that are on LinkedIn. The only other time I send an invite is when there is a contact that I would like to connect with and that person has a one on one contact with someone I have a direct contact with. Otherwise, I don’t send them out.
Your topic is good and to the point that people should not just accept an invite if they have no idea who this person is. Especially if they did not ask to be introduced by another party that is know to both of them. Besides a little personal note is never a bad idea. It is a ersonal touch to the invite.
You are so right on! I received a request from a fellow Realtor and after finding comments on her site related to “beer bongs” I decided not to be associated with her. Some people just don’t get it…
I am in complete agreement, and I appreciate how you articulated your thoughts. That which is ideally common sense for some, simply is not. One message I would like to delicately send out and that also impacts a first impression…As a writer, I tend to notice the typos of others much more easily than my own. I was not sure if you meant Your (as in a possessive) or You’re (as in you are) one step closer to never connecting…
This is a great article and I’ve read some really good comments regarding this subject. But let’s look at this like educated adults and remember that good advice is just that. One must do what works best for that person in that situation, and everyone is different. Use common sense and be sincere.
As a very new user to Linkedin I am glad I joined this group first. The advice will certainly help me start off on the right foot. Thanks
Excellent advice. Thank you.
When I don’t have time to open the profile of the requester, I generally postpone my acceptation for a better time to give a personal answer. Elisabeth
Absolutely! Don’t send me canned connect requests. If you know me, fine, I’ll see that it’s you and I’ll accept it, but I’m not accepting from people I don’t know because the “connection” implies you have one.
I think this discussion is missing the most important point of “connecting.” I view this from a conversation marketing perspective (on a friend/personal level who cares how you do it.) From a conversation marketing standpoint, the purpose of connecting with people is to build relationships for interacting with the market conversation and the Influencers who drive those conversation and their Participants and Listeners. By now, every marketing, sales, and business professional should understand that #s don’t necessarily mean anything. Just because a million people accept a connection request to you, doesn’t mean you have a relationship with any of them–so what is the point?
I don’t care for responses that ask ‘me’ to do the inviting in order to grow the other person’s network, however if the person is asking to connect and gives a fairly good reason I do connect more often than not. I do take the steps to review their profile though prior in order to see if it is just a spam connection. I agree also that Linkedin is a forum to connect with others even if you don’t know them, it gives a chance to connect with others and potentially learn from those who have more experience in other fields and have more people to bounce ideas off of.
You are absolutely correct and unfortunately I initially was “That Person”. Maybe it was because I was nervous about social medial and thus used stock invites. I have since learned to check out websites and learn about who I am trying to connect with. Thank you for the article. Hopefully others will not make the same initial mistake that I did.
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